Contents
Who Is the Maid of Honor?
How to Plan a Bridal Shower
How to Give a Toast
How to Plan a Bachelorette Party
How to Help Choose Wedding Attire
Maid of Honor’s Ceremony Responsibilities
Maid of Honor’s Reception Responsibilities
How to Decorate the Bridal Suite
How to Overcome Obstacles
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How to Help Choose Wedding Attire
The bride may ask you to go along with her to shop for a wedding dress and/or bridesmaid dresses, so it’s helpful to know the traditional options—and which rules are okay to break. This is a great opportunity not only to give the bride your honest feedback but also for you and the bride to spend some quality time together.
Shop for the Bride’s Dress and Accessories
It’s best to start looking for a wedding dress about 9–12 months before the wedding. That way, the bride has plenty of time to choose a dress she loves and to schedule fittings. Depending on the shops you visit, you may need to make an appointment in advance. Looking at dresses requires more time than many people realize—it takes work just for the bride to get in and out of the dress, for instance. Give yourselves enough time by starting early in the day.
Wedding Dress
It’s customary for the bride to wear white or cream (though brides may choose to break convention; some brides have been known to wear red, purple—even black). Though gowns (floor-length dresses) are the most popular style
option, the bride may choose a dress in any length, including:
- Miniskirt: Above the knee
- Knee-length: To the knee
- Tea-length: To the shin
- Ballerina: To the ankle
Bridal Accessories
Depending on her personal style and how traditional she is, the bride may wear any or all of the following:
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Veil: This can be anywhere from
shoulder-length to floor-length and may be made from any number of fabrics—most commonly chiffon, a gauzy material.
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Headpiece: This can be anything from a decorative headband to a bejeweled tiara. The bride may chose to forgo a headpiece in favor of flowers, barettes, or nothing at all.
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Shoes: These can be virtually any style or heel height and are almost always the same color as the bride’s dress—traditionally, white or cream.
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Garter: It’s customary for the bride to wear a garter
(a lacy, elastic band) around her thigh.
- Lingerie: The bride wears supportive undergarments, such as a bustier or girdle, that flatter the style of her dress.
- Jewelry: This can vary according to the bride’s tastes and the style of her dress.
How to Shop for Bridesmaid Dresses
Much like the bride’s dress, the bridesmaids’ and maid of honor’s dresses should be picked out about 9–12 months in advance. It could take up to six months for a dress to arrive if you need to order one—and that’s not even counting the time it’ll take to have professional alterations done (professional alterations are almost always necessary).
Often, there’s some overlap between what the bride wears and what the bridesmaids and maid of honor wear. In general, the maid of honor and the bridesmaids wear:
- Dresses: The dresses for the wedding party can be floor-length, tea-length, or just above the knee. Traditionally, these dresses are not white or cream, but can be any other color, including black. The maid of honor’s dress often has a variation—either in color, style, or length—that differentiates her from the bridesmaids.
- Shoes: These can vary according to the style and color of the dress and the bride’s preferences.
- Jewelry: Often a gift from the bride, this can include anything from earrings to necklaces to bracelets.
Dress Styles
As maid of honor, you should have at least a basic familiarity with all the most popular dress styles before you going shopping—otherwise, the options can seem overwhelming. Bear in mind that not everyone looks good in the same style; if there is a range of body types among the bridal party, it’s wise to stick with the cut that’s most flattering and forgiving across the board.
- V-neck: This style, in which the bust line is cut into the shape of a “v”, suits nearly any body type.
- Halter: This style, in which the strap that holds up the dress fastens behind the neck, draws attention to the shoulders and can lead the eye up and away from trouble spots, such as heavy thighs or a thick waist.
- Strapless: With no straps or sleeves, this cut looks best on someone who is petite or small-busted. Because it shows a lot of skin, it creates the illusion of more height.
- A-line: Also called princess, this style flares out a bit at the bottom, which is nice for balancing out a pear-shaped figure or downplaying a large chest.
- Empire cut: This cut, in which the waist flares out directly beneath the bust, obscures the waistline, so it’s perfect for hiding a belly bulge or thick waist. It can also create cleavage—an ideal option for smaller busts.
- Column: Also called sheath, this cut is narrow from the neck straight down to the hemline. Because of its straight silhouette, it creates the illusion of height. But it does tend to hug curves—not a good option for bridesmaids who are trying to camouflage trouble areas.
Color Combinations
Though bridesmaids usually all wear the same or similar colors, the maid of honor may wear a different color altogether or a slightly different style. Colors vary from season to season. Colors for spring and summer are usually lighter, whereas colors for fall and winter are darker.
Popular Colors for Spring/Summer
- Lavender
- Pink
- Aqua
- Ice blue
- Apple green
- Pale yellow
Popular Colors for Fall/Winter
- Olive green
- Black
- Navy blue
- Rusty orange
- Emerald green
Rules That Are Okay to Break
Unless the bride is a stickler for tradition, it’s okay to sidestep the following rules:
- Dying shoes to match the dress: This was once a common practice, but nowadays bridesmaids and maids of honor often opt for versatile silver or gold shoes instead.
- Sticking to one style for all bridesmaids: Often, rather than assume that one shape will flatter all figures, the bride lets the maid of honor and each bridesmaid pick out the dress style that looks best on her. By sticking to a similar color and fabric, the bridal party can maintain a consistent look.
- Choosing floor-length gowns for black-tie weddings: Black-tie weddings call for ultraformal attire. But even if the couple takes this route, it’s still acceptable to choose dresses with shorter hemlines for the wedding party.
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