The Social Side of Business

Meals

Basic Dining Etiquette

• Napkin: As soon as you sit down, unfold your napkin and put it on your lap.
• Elbows: You can put your elbows on the table between courses, but not while eating.
• Utensils: In general, the order of utensils mirrors the order of the courses from the outside in. So the first course involves the silverware farthest from your plate, while the last course involves the silverware that’s closest to the plate. When you’re finished with a course, place your knife and fork diagonally across your plate, with the tines of the fork in the ten o’clock position.
• When to start: Unless your host tells you otherwise, don’t eat until everyone at your table has been served.
• Chewing: Don’t chew with your mouth open, and don’t talk with your mouth full.
• Taking bites: Cut one piece of food at a time and eat it before cutting the next piece.
• Eating bread: Take one piece of bread from the basket and put it on your bread plate, which is on your left. Pass the basket to the right. To eat the bread, break off one bite-size piece and butter it. Finish it before breaking off the next piece.
• Eating soup: When eating soup, scoop the soup away from you, not toward you.

Business Meal Logistics

When You’re the Host

• At breakfast or lunch meetings, you can discuss business anytime after the food has been ordered. At dinners, wait until after the main course to discuss business.
• Reserve a table in advance and call your guest the day before your meal to confirm.
• Try to arrive early, before your guests do.
• Give your guests the best seats. Seat clients before coworkers.
• Wait until everyone arrives before sitting. Then introduce all your guests to each other.

When You’re the Guest

• Arrive on time, but don’t sit until your host arrives. Let your host take you to your seat.
• Don’t order alcohol unless your host does first.
• Don’t order the most expensive item on the menu.
• Don’t order anything unfamiliar or difficult to eat.
• Try not to order more courses than others at the table.
• Even if you don’t like your food, never complain to your host.
• At the end of the meal, thank your host. You may want to write a follow-up thank-you note as well, though it’s not required.

Business Social Occasions

• No matter how jovial the atmosphere, you’re still working. Remember that you’re representing your company, and remain professional at all times.
• Avoid drinking too much alcohol.
• Track all reimbursable expenses, but never take advantage of your expense account.
• Be careful of acting in any way that may even hint at sexual harassment.
• At sporting events, keep cheering positive—no booing.
• At the theater, arrive well in advance of curtain time, and don’t talk during the show.
• Even if you hated the performance (or your team lost), thank the host.
• Don’t bring up business—such outings are for building relationships, not making deals.

Dating Coworkers

• Be careful: If you and your love interest are at different ranks within the company, your relationship may raise suspicions. If you really want to pursue a relationship, one of you should consider finding another job or switching departments.
• Follow the rules: Adhere to your company’s policies, if any, on intraoffice dating.
• Be discreet: Try to keep your relationship quiet and low-key. If people pry, tell them you’d like to keep your private life private.
• Don’t be physical: Don’t show physical affection at the office or at company events.

Giving Gifts

Gifts for Customers and Clients

• Check whether you’re allowed: Some companies don’t allow employees to send gifts to customers or clients. Check your company’s rules before sending any gifts.
• Avoid expensive or personal gifts: These may make the recipient uncomfortable.
• Don’t give gifts to potential clients: These may give the impression you’re trying to influence prospective clients’ decisions.
• Do research before sending gifts abroad: Local gift-giving customs vary widely.

Receiving Gifts from Outside the Company

• Check whether you’re allowed: If you receive a gift, find out whether your company will let you keep it. If a gift is inappropriate or not allowed, return it to the sender as soon as possible with a friendly and gracious note explaining why you can’t accept it.
• Give thanks: If you are allowed to receive gifts, write a thank-you note as soon as you receive a gift.

Giving Gifts to Coworkers

• Be careful about gifts to your boss: Giving a gift to your supervisor can make it look like you’re kissing up. Gather a group to give your boss a gift, or give none at all.
• Give your assistant a gift: Show your appreciation, but don’t give anything too personal or extravagant. (If you have an assistant who’s worked with you several years or more, though, it’s acceptable to give a more expensive gift.)